Congressional Deficit Super Committee Reaches Agreement.


Washington DC — The Congressional Deficit Super Committee announced a surprise agreement. The agreement solves the nation’s long term debt crisis thru modifications in entitlement programs.


Starting in 2030, the eligibility age for Social Security and Medicare benefits will gradually be increased by every year by one year. In 2030, the eligibility age will be 66. A 65 year old could look forward to being eligible in 2031. In 2031, the age will be increased to 67, so a 66 year old will look forward to collecting entitlement benefits in 2032, when the eligibility age will be increased to 68. To be fair, the eligibility age will eventually be reset from 82 to 65 in 2046 for those born in 1982 or later.


Some opposition is expected to the bipartisan agreement, but not along party lines. Instead, Gen X lawmakers are expected to oppose the measure. Fortunately, there are enough older members of Congress to override their opposition.


To counterbalance the increase in eligibility age, both parties agreed to reduce taxes on Social Security income effectively immediately.


Anonymous quotes for Super Committee Members


“Unlike most government math, this math actually works and will reduce the future deficit by more than the $1.2 trillion the committee is mandated to produce.”


“Most baby boomers have children in Generation Y anyway.”


“It’s too bad Obama wasn’t born a couple years later.”


“Generation X is a bunch of slackers anyway. We don’t think they’ll notice.”


“Truly a plan that will do well for my grandchildren.”